As I reach my advanced years, I know that I face certain fears. But I have nothing to hold me back, if I have patience and a little tact.

Right now I'm captive to swinging moods and terrified of some spicy foods.

If I try to act less than half my age, then I'll slip a disc before I turn one page.

Drinking booze used to cheer me up, but now I'm stuck with a non-alcoholic cup!

I once played sports with certain ease, but now all sorts of muscle aches squeeze.

I love to dance and cut a rug, but now it lays me up with a bug.

Can any girl really look twice at me, an older dude with such complexity.

I planned for some sort of retirement sure, but I don't have the dough for a luxury cure.

Travel sounds nice and would be real fun, but I don't drive a car 'cause I don't have one.

Season tickets to some sports would hit the spot, but I checked my bank account and it said "not"!

I live in a retirement community here in town, with a bunch of geezers who don't "get down." 

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