Staying Cool

by Rhonda Petersen

This article was originally printed in StrokeNet in August 2001.

 

As a general rule, most people living in northern Minnesota, close to Lake Superior, do not require air conditioning. However, this past July, Mother Nature decided to play a trick on those living in Parka Land and turn up the heat. In an attempt to escape the blast furnace of 90 degree heat and high humidity I drove further up north to my family's cabin. After squeezing into my spandex bathing suit until my thighs bulged out like some misshaped circus balloon, I walked into the cool water dragging an air mattress.

 

The challenge was to situate by body on the flotation device without drowning in the process. I have no sense of perspective regarding the left side of my body and balance is not one of my strong points. After a few rounds of wrestling the air filled mattress as if it were an alligator I precariously situated myself so that I was somewhat floating on the lakes surface. After paddling with one arm, I realized I was only going in circles so I began to kick and use my arm as an oar on both sides of my makeshift gondola. Finally reaching a raft anchored a few feet from the swimming beach, I grabbed hold of a rope that was secured to the stairs of the raft.

 

Regis Philbin had nothing on me as I held fast to my life line. At least I wouldn't float away. Soon two young boys swam out to the raft and began jumping off in cannonball fashion "Don't splash!" I ordered. This command was as useless as my non-water resistance SPF 20 suntan lotion. "I'm at the end of my rope!" I pleaded. Of course by uttering any objection to every mother's dream of healthy exercise for two adolescent boys, I realized the error of my ways and concluded that I was merely enticing them.

 

I was pushing the rules of swimming etiquette. The unwritten rules of water safety flooded my mind. 1) Never holler "help" unless you really need it. 2) Children can be in the water as long as there is an adult present.

 

Apparently, in absentia, I had been christened the "Official Lifeguard." I let go of the rope and drifted with the waves. Suddenly, I heard a low gurgling sound and noticed little bubbles coming up from beneath the air mattress. Ever so slightly I shifted my weight to one side in order to inspect the damage. Whoosh! The splash caused a tidal wave that resonated around the lake causing the boys to grab what was left of the air mattress and ride the waves while I miraculously synchronized my body parts in Esther Williams fashion and swam to shore.

 

"One small step for man. One giant leap for..." stroke survival.

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