I realize I am not the only one who has had this experience. I am 32. How did the time disappear? I spent the last 2 years in rehabilitation. Where did that time go? I want that time back so I could do what other people my age do when they are 28. I was an art therapist with children with cancers and blood disorders.

On September 11, 2000, I had an aneurysm, had surgery, and went to ICU. I was in an induced coma. Everything was “ok” but two weeks later, I had a stroke. I stayed two months at this hospital and then went to inpatient rehabilitation for two more months. I also had a tracheotomy during that time. I was still in a wheelchair but I went to outpatient rehabilitation for speech, physical, and occupational therapies for another year. I also had acupuncture, which really helped. I got rid of the wheelchair, cane and I can slowly walk- not the way I used to walk. I have a brace in order to walk long distances. And finally, I can DRIVE. I was nervous but I am driving.

I realized that I had aphasia. People thought I was from another country because I was unable to communicate what I was trying to say. I thought my words would come back but I did not realize it was permanent. That is when I realized what aphasia means. My long-term memory is good and so is my ability to self-monitor what I am saying.

Other strengths are my good social communication and articulation skills. I still have some difficulties with word retrieval. I can think of things but cannot always say them but I can find the right word when I am given a choice. I will be working out at a gym instead of physical therapy because they feel that they have done everything that they can do. Unfortunately, I don’t agree with plateaus. You can always go further. Sometimes, I get stuck and depressed but I snap out of it.

I hate the idea of “disability” or “handicap” or “damage.” I feel that something from “me” was taken from me. I worked so hard to get a masters in art therapy and now it is gone. I dislike the idea that I get sad about this. When will I move on? I am scared that I will not move on. I know that I need “to discipline myself in a totally new way, learning everything all over again, constantly adapting, adjusting or doing without.” (Return to Ithaca, Barbara Newborn)

It is also so special to meet people on the board sharing experiences. That really, really helps. So Thank You again for giving me the push to go forward.