By Marty Arlen

Welcome to "Ask Uncle 007." Remember, the advice given is done with tongue in cheek. Please don't take it seriously.

Dear Uncle 007,

What do you find funny about a stroke?

Confused All Over

Dear Confused,

Let me be serious for a moment. I find nothing funny about a stroke. Whether you are a survivor or caregiver, having your life change in seconds without warning or preparation is unfair, devastating, and about as bad as it gets.

But I find humor in life. Somewhere between the medical, financial, and everyday life, there is an itsy-bitsy light of something positive. Trouble is we get so consumed with all the negatives happening, we don't take the time to step back, take a deep breathe and look at each problem separately. We tend to lump everything together and then we find it hard to take care of one thing at a time. Staying positive under the most adverse conditions is the real challenge in life. Doing it with even a small smile is an even bigger challenge.

I've been lucky that my corny sense of humor has gotten me this far in life. And I still can't find anything funny about a stroke.

Good luck,

Uncle 007

Dear Uncle 007,

I've been thinking about a pet. Any suggestions?

Petless in Paduka

Dear Petless,

My first choice is a cow. In the mornings, you sit on a stool, stretch your arms and exercise your fingers milking the cow. The manure makes good fertilizer, and when the cow gets too old, there's always dinner. Cancel that, Mad Cow Disease.

A dog, but only if it can be toilet trained for those who live in cold climates.

A chicken provides early morning exercise by stooping down and reaching to gather the eggs. Again, makes a great dinner when the time comes. Wait, cancel that one too, Bird Flu.

Now I have a cat. I feed him, clean the litter box, give him snacks, and he loves my wife and tolerates me. A friend once told me, "If your cat spends more time on your wife than you do, your marriage is in trouble". I’m in deep trouble!

Happy Pet Owning,

Uncle 007

E-mail your questions to Uncle 007 at marlen@strokenetwork.org.